Explain It To Me
by crissingirl123
Summary: Kurt and Blaine don't get back together until after Regionals. After winning the ND, new and old members, celebrate. Drunk!Blaine shares some secrets.


**A/N: **I changed some things. Blaine doesn't have a hook up with Eli, but with someone else, but you'll find out soon enough.

**Summary:** Kurt and Blaine don't get back together until after Regionals. After winning the ND, new and old members, celebrate. Drunk! Blaine shares some secrets.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing

**Warnings:** Language, mentions of forced sex (not rape).

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**Explain It To Me**

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Mr. Schue hadn't exaggerated when he told the new directions about the amazing singers in the competition. This didn't mean that they weren't better though. It may sound selfish, but for once Regionals felt right. There wasn't any trouble. No car accident or pregnancy. The only thing they had to do was sing and win this thing. And that's what they did. As simple as that.

They came prepared.

Puck and Jake had made sure there was alcohol in the house for a party. And when they were the one's buying alcohol, everyone will end up being drunk. Whether they'd like it or not.

Some drunk a little bit more than the other's though. The minute Blaine walked into the house he reached for a bottle and brought it to his lips. He didn't wait a single second before the liquid slid through his mouth and he looked down and reached with shaky hands for a second glass.

For once in his life he didn't think about the consequences. He only thought about right now. And right now he wanted to forget. He still couldn't believe that Kurt actually brought Adam to this party. It was a New Directions party and if Blaine is sure of one thing it is that Adam isn't and wasn't part of New Directions. It just really pisses him off. At Mr. Schue's wedding the two of them were pretty close, but ever since Kurt hadn't even called or texted him. And even though it was Blaine's fault in the first place, it still hurts.

And don't let him even get started on his uncle, who decided to move in with him and his mother.

He soon brought another glass to his lips. And another. When Blaine reached for a fifth glass he felt a firm hand stopping his movements. When he looked up he was met with the concerned eyes of his best friend.

"Easy there, Blainers. I think that's enough, man." Blaine shook his head and freed his hand from the tight grip and brought another glass to his lips. "Seriously, Blaine you should stop. It's a party. You're allowed to have fun, but even Puck only had three glasses."

"You know, Sammy. I really, really like you, but _shut up_."

Without saying another word Blaine left Sam behind and walked, if you could call it walking, to the other side of the room and sat down against the wall on the ground. He didn't stay there for much longer, though. Within a few seconds he stood up and danced along with Marley and Tina.

0.0

Even though Sam also had drunk a glass of beer, he was still pretty sober and he wasn't going to shut up this easily.

"Kurt! You need to talk to Blaine." Sam said as he pointed to the floor where Blaine was having a blast with Tina and Marley. The three of them were dancing around each other and singing along to every single song that came up even when they didn't know the lyrics.

"He seems to be doing just fine."

"Believe me… he's not. He's drinking way too much and I don't want him ending up in a coma." And this seemed to draw Kurt's attention. Kurt gave Adam a quick kiss on his cheek before he walked up to Blaine. He ignored Marley and Tina completely and only had attention for his ex-boyfriend.

"Blaine? You're alright?"

"Hmm… what -what? Why are you talking to me?" For someone who was as drunk as Blaine was he still spoke very clear Kurt noted. But that wasn't important right now.

"Can we go somewhere private?" Kurt asked slowly and he already reached for Blaine's hand, but the shorter boy put them behind his back to stop Kurt from doing so.

"Why? So you can fuck me and leave? I mean you didn't seem to have a problem with doing that last time." Blaine slurred drunkenly, but Kurt knew he meant every single word he was saying now. He also knows that Blaine will regret all of this in the morning if he remembers any of it.

"I… Come on, Blaine. You knew that it wasn't like that."

"It wasn't? Then what? I remember you fucking me in that hotel room and leaving the next day. You don't even text me anymore. Why are you even mad at me for cheating on you? You did the exact same thing to Adam." Kurt wanted to interrupt, but Blaine didn't let him. Something in him kept talking even though he wanted his mouth to shut up. "And you did it because you wanted it. I did it because I had to."

"Wh-what do you mean?" Blaine turned around. He didn't notice everyone staring at him or that the music wasn't as loud anymore. He could only hear the pounding in his head and a voice telling him to grab another drink. He wanted to drink until he could forget forever.

"You know what I mean Kurt!" Blaine shouted and another glass was emptied in his mouth. He didn't even care about the hung-over he was clearly going to have the next day.

"I don't. Please, explain it to me."

"My uncle is living with us now." Blaine started and he laughed softly, but it didn't sound like a happy laugh at all. Blaine had told Kurt about his uncle being abusive and homophobic, but it's never been a big problem, because he used to live in Austria. "There was a fire at his place and he needed a place to live. He thought it would be a good idea to do that at the other side of the world, that asshole." When Blaine cursed he was mad and everyone knew something bad was going to be shared.

"He- he… wasn't in a good mood. I walked home after hanging out with Sam and… my mom… she was tied to a chair. My uncle had pressed a gun to her head and she was crying. I- I didn't know what to do and... Fuck!" Blaine sobbed and he kneeled down on the ground. He could feel Kurt's soft hand moving slowly on his back. "This girl was there too. She was just standing there. Naked. The stupidest part is that ever since Ryder told his story I'm even more afraid to share mine. I should be happy, right? A girl was standing naked in my living room. I was living a dream, wasn't I? The girl was crying, I was crying, my mother was crying and you know… the funny part. At some part of all of that even my uncle was crying. And… I couldn't be honest with you. You know why? I couldn't be honest with myself. _Ha._ I couldn't even talk. No one would understand. I had sex with a fucking girl! Me! I'm Blaine gay Anderson. How is that even possible? And… I- I'm so sorry about everything."

It was quiet in the room except for the music that was still playing softly in the background. Most of the girls were in tears and even the boys had trouble to stay dry. Without saying a single word Ryder stood up and walked outside. Kitty followed him not much later. Blaine looked at the ground this whole time. Even though he was clearly still drunk his mind focused only on one thing. On that one day when he walked back home. When he opened that door and walked right into a nightmare.

Every time he opened his eyes for a few seconds the room was spinning around him and it was hard for him to make out who was standing where and what they were doing. He couldn't see his friends crying there in the room _because of him_.

He totally ruined the party.

Suddenly Blaine wrapped his arms around his head and laid down on the ground. Even when Blaine was drunk he couldn't have people seeing him cry. He could hear someone kneeling down next to him and two hands pressed softly on his back.

"Don't be, Blaine. I_- I_ am sorry."

"Why?" It was asked so softly, innocent and uncertain. Kurt could barely recognize Blaine when he slowly turned around. Blaine's huge eyes stared up at Kurt and the older boy had to do his best to stay strong. He had to for Blaine.

"You- you wanted to explain everything, but I never let you. I should've… I'm so sorry. You're so strong and I'm so stupid."

With a shaky breath Blaine tried to sit back up, but was met with dizziness. He closed his eyes slowly and breathed in and out, trying to fight the urge to throw up. Sadly he didn't win the battle. Without any warnings he threw up all over the floor and over his own clothes. Kurt didn't stop stroking his back as he comforted his ex-boyfriend quietly. If Kurt wasn't so focused on the shaking boy on the ground he would have shouted at his friends to go away and leave them alone, but right now he didn't care about them. Not even about Adam. All he cared about was Blaine.

"Told ya you had enough, dude." Sam commented and a small smile formed on Blaine's lips.

"And I told you to shut up." This time he didn't sound angry or drunk, he only sounded playful and maybe even a little bit calmer. "'m sorry about the floor." He added as he looked around to find Jake, but he was nowhere to be found, at least Blaine had trouble with finding him because Jake answered him loud and clear.

"That's fine, man."

Silence filled the room again. Vaguely Blaine remembers that he wanted to say something to Kurt, but his head is pounding too hard for him to focus on what. The smell of his own vomit made him feel sick again. He was still surprised that he even vomited in the first place. Blaine Anderson doesn't throw up. On the other side he doesn't even have a clue how long they've been in this room.

"I should take a shower." Blaine stated as he looked down at his clothes.

"I'll go with you." Kurt helped Blaine stand up and carried him with him. Blaine smiled softly when he heard Puck screaming up the stairs, but he was immediately hushed by the rest of New Directions.

"Get some, Anderson."

And even though it was really inappropriate, it still made Blaine feel a little bit better. Even now when they know the real story they still treat them the same. At least Puck did.

Blaine wasn't sure how this was all going to end and how much he was going to regret this in the morning, but right now his big secret is out and Kurt is next to him holding him close and that's what matters.

The two boys walked into the bathroom and Kurt locked the door before he sat down on the bathtub and made it ready for Blaine. When the tub was filled with warm water he mentioned for Blaine to climb into it and this is exactly what he did. When the warm water hit his skin he signed deeply and closed his eyes and relaxed. For a minute he tried to think about the good things in life. About Burt and Kurt and his friends.

"Can I ask one last question?" Blaine softly hummed in response, but didn't open his eyes. "Your uncle… he's in prison, right?"

"Yeah…" Blaine answered as he sank a little bit deeper into the water.

"And your mother?"

"Scared, but alive."

It hasn't been easy living in Blaine's house these past few months. His mother cried herself to sleep every night or she drunk enough alcohol to pass out. But Blaine knew she was trying and getting better and so is Blaine. Blaine won't be okay by tomorrow, but with Kurt next to him and with Burt and his friends only a phone call away he knows that someday he'll be happy again. Maybe Adam is downstairs and maybe he and Kurt are still dating, but even now Blaine knew that Kurt wasn't looking at him the way friends look at each other. The way Kurt is touching him on his chest and stroking him through his hair isn't something friends do, it's something that boyfriends do. Someday Kurt and he will get back together, Blaine is sure of this. And that's something Blaine really is looking forward to.

"I love you." Kurt whispered softly, but is was no use, because Blaine was already fast asleep.

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**A/N:** Thanks for reading! Review and tell me what you thought?

Xxx Crissingirl123


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